You're not alone, sister! After I laid hold of God but couldn't understand what was happening to me, I searched through the lives of Godly men whom God used if they had similar experience and came across Charles Finney's writing from one of his Revival Lectures - On Being Filled with the Spirit. Here's an excerpt of what lightened my heart :

"So it was when Christ was on earth... if you are filled with the Spirit of God."

"You must expect very frequent and agonizing conflicts with Satan. Satan has very little trouble with those Christians who are not spiritual, but lukewarm, and slothful, and worldly-minded...

"You will have greater conflicts with yourself than you ever thought of. You will sometimes find your own corruptions making strange headway against the Spirit...

"But you will have peace with God. If the church, and sinners, and the devil oppose you, there will be one with whom you will have peace. Let those who are called to these trials, and conflicts, and temptations, and who groan, and pray, and weep, and break your hearts, remember this consideration: your peace, so far as your feelings towards God are concerned, will flow like a river."

A. W. Tozer shared a similar message in his sermon on the same topic:

"It is loneliness for God. You will want God so badly you will be miserable. This means you are getting close, friend. You are near the kingdom, and if you only keep on, you will meet God. God will take you in and fill you, and He will do it in His own blessed and wonderful way."